Judge not, lest ye be judged

I debated for a long time about whether or not to write a blog about this but it is on my mind and I feel it needs to be said. In the past few weeks, I have been judged unfairly and twice now have been lumped into a group of people with whom I do not belong. The first of these incidents was a silly, high school drama-type situation among New Kids on the Block fans, or Blockheads as we’re known. The second and most recent is being judged and condemned into backwards, cousin-marrying rednecks for an amendment my state (North Carolina) passed last night in the Primary. An amendment that I voted against, and so did all of my friends and anyone who is for equality.

Just because I live in North Carolina does not mean that my family members sit barefoot on a porch, playing banjos and chewing tobacco. Yes, they are country folks and yes, unfortunately, most of my immediate family is closed-minded and racist. It is the way they were raised and that tide is definitely turning. Kids no longer see colors or sexual preferences, and that’s how it should be. But unfortunately, most of the voting population was brought up to believe that homosexuality is wrong. Churches got involved, when there is supposed to be a separation of church and state. Try as I might, I am never going to change these people’s minds. They’re in their 60s and 70s, and have thought this way their whole lives. I’ve tried to argue and reason with them, but there’s no point. This doesn’t mean they should be hated and that we should trend “Fuck you, North Carolina” on Twitter. I thought most of the LGBT community believed in #NOH8. It goes both ways. How about instead of talking about the entire state population like we’re a bunch of closed-minded idiots, you praise those like myself and my friends and colleagues for getting out and voting against this and doing our damnedest to convince others to vote against it as well. It upsets me to see celebrities I admire talking about me and the rest of my state like we’re less than human. The amendment did not pass by a huge margin. Nearly half the state voted against it, and that is a lot of people that you are lumping into a group and judging, just like the prejudiced people are judging you for being gay or a race other than white or whatever you’re judged for. I am not defending the homophobes and racists. What I am saying is to pray for them or send positive thoughts or whatever you do. Don’t fight hate with more hate. That never ends well.

As for the Blockhead drama, I was also lumped into a group of people and judged in that world as well. See my previous blog, “You get what you pay for” for information on that. If you don’t wanna read that, in a nutshell, I was one of the lucky few who won passes to a pre-show party Jordan Knight did in Fredericksburg, Va. The party didn’t turn out as well as I’d hoped, and I tweeted some things that night that I shouldn’t have, but I did not talk shit about anyone at the radio station, the photographer who did our photos or any other fans. I merely said that I was disappointed in my personal experience with Jordan, and I overreacted a little and called him a jerk. He made it up to me the next day at his brunch in D.C., and he and I are all good now. 🙂

Fast-forward to about 3 weeks later, we still hadn’t seen the pictures the photographer took of everyone at the party with Jordan and the DJ at the radio station who was in charge of it posted that we were not “entitled” to ever see them. I thought that was a bit ridiculous to not be entitled to see photos of yourself with a celebrity. But we didn’t pay anything for them so I guess that is what she meant. Still, it’s a bit much to say we’re not entitled to see photos of ourselves. Anyway, one Sunday morning, I woke up and saw that the DJ had gone on this rant on Twitter about people complaining about the party, not getting the photos, etc. and she said she was going to start unfollowing and blocking people. I was like, “What in the world is going on?” I went to her timeline to see if I could figure out what this was all about, and found that she had blocked me. I was hurt and confused and angry. I never publicly said anything negative about anyone and I feel like I was, again, lumped into a group and judged for something I had no part in. I’m not one to cause “drama” and I don’t like conflict. If I’ve done something to offend someone, I want to know what it is that I’ve done and try to fix it.

So I saw one of the DJ’s friends that I used to follow tweet and I wanted to know if she blocked me by mistake so I asked her why I was blocked and this girl completely went OFF on me and called me all sorts of names that were uncalled for. It really upset me. Notice I’m not naming names; even though I want to tell the world that these people ganged up on me, I won’t. This girl wasn’t the only one to unfollow me, and it hurt because I really did not do anything out of line. If I had, I would admit it and apologize. No one can even tell me what I supposedly said because they all just blocked me and insulted me and then ignored me. This past week, I also found out that a “popular” Blockhead on Twitter also blocked me. I’ve never said a word to this girl, in person or over Twitter, so I have no idea what I did to her either. And of course I can’t find out because she blocked me. I don’t want to start drama over that either and tell people to block her, but a lot of my friends follow this girl and RT her every day and tweet about how wonderful, sweet and beautiful she is. This infuriates me because how sweet can this girl be if she would judge someone she doesn’t even know and block them?? But, I don’t like conflict so I blocked her back and am trying to unfollow those who incessantly RT her, because every time I see her tweets it reminds me that she blocked me and I don’t know why, and I get all irritated all over again.

So, the point of this particular blog is this: No one is perfect. We all have flaws. Don’t fight hate with more hate. In the end, we’re really not all that different. We make mistakes. I made a mistake in tweeting that Jordan was a jerk. If that’s why I got blocked by so many people, that’s pretty ridiculous.

I am a person who treasures my friends and I would do anything within my power to make one of my friends’ dreams come true or to even make them smile for a minute. I guess now I know who the true friends are though. And I know who those are who are only in it for themselves.

Don’t judge people. Don’t fight hate with more hate. Love and peace and sunshine.
-Abs

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